42 Ties and I Have None

He missed out on 42 cards and 42 ties.  He missed the day I took my first step, said my first word, hit my first ball, dated my first girl, married my first(and only) wife, had my first two(and only two) kids, and I’m not sure he even knew the opportunities he was missing. My [...]

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Going All In: The Search For My Birth Father Begins

Inside my plastic mailbox in front of my house, with the little red flag sticking up, is my application for a Confidential Intermediary.  Since I was born in Michigan, and my birth mother never signed a form to allow me access to my information, it is assumed she didn’t want me to be able to [...]

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The Search Begins–Again

At the base of the large mountain I stand and look up.  Today the mountain seems so large that I can’t see the top.  It appears the peak of the mountain disappears in to the clouds.  I wonder if today is the day I will begin my ascent.  There have been many days I have [...]

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Recycled

I wasn’t thrown away. It has taken me awhile to digest the results of my searching for my birth family.  So much has happened so fast that it feels like I am living in a revolving room.  The meeting with my sister was great and to connect with someone who shares my DNA has given [...]

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Healing

The door bell rang and my legs turned instantly to noodles.  Trying to balance and walk on thick noodles is impossible.  Fortunately the door was not far away.  I opened the front door and on my porch stood my sister holding a Poinsettia, standing next to her adult daughter.  We immediately hugged and just held [...]

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Thankful

My heart is bouncing off my rib cage as the phone rings.   Yesterday, I sent four certified letters to four siblings.  In my search for my birth family, I found the four siblings I have been looking for for the past 21 years.  I had confirmed my birth mother’s name and the names of [...]

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Raped

My birth mother had been raped by an unknown black man.  This is what she and her husband told the adoption agency.  In September of 1967 they were referred to the agency by the Department of Social Services and they were looking to place “a child who appeared to be racially mixed.” Yesterday after several [...]

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The Trade Has Been Made

The confirmation of who my birth mother was is moments away from coming through my fax machine. Last week I contacted the adoption agency.  In my conversation with the director I explained I had found out who my birth mother was and had also learned she died six years ago.  I explained that I had [...]

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Trade

In front of me, on my desk, is a certified copy of my birth mother’s death certificate.  I learn more and more about her and me and have mixed feelings about it.  Part of me feels like I am invading someone’s privacy and part of me keeps reminding myself this is the woman who gave [...]

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Lost and Found?

Friday night October 30th, I took my boys to the local high school football game.  It was my youngest son’s big night to be a part of the high school game.  He got to eat dinner in the high school with his teammates from the third and fourth grade football team.  Then they got to [...]

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