“Have you ever thought about being a consultant?” My friend asked. I didn’t respond because I really didn’t understand how I qualified as a consultant. To me a consultant is someone in big business that has knowledge that businesses want so they pay them to extract that knowledge from the businessman’s head.
Mike, my friend continued. “You just told me that your passion is to help adoptive parents by sharing your experiences right?”
“Yes, what I really get excited about is talking to adoptive parents, especially transracial adoptive parents, and sharing my experiences and helping them walk the path I have walked. “ As I was explaining this to Mike, his idea began to come into to view and it was becoming more and more clear.
This conversation started because I was sharing with Mike about progress of the book and that it would be coming out in the next three to four weeks. I was also sharing that I felt that God was really guiding through this amazing journey and I wasn’t worried about where the money was going to come from to support our family. I knew God had a plan and His plan for my life was none of my business. When God felt the need to let me in on it He would.
To be honest, I assumed some how God would provide a way through the book so what Mike was suggesting was interesting and had little to do with the book. God showed me a long time ago that trying to figure out how he will work things out is a waste of time.
Unfortunately, in my quiet time my creative mind drifts off and fantasizes about how He will work it out and then when I come across a particular fantasy that I like I go with that one until God shows me the REAL plan. My plan always revolved around the book.
Mike, who I thought knew little about adoption, went on to explain that what I know could be very valuable to the adoption community and especially to pre/post-adoptive services.
“I am telling you, what agency wouldn’t want to be able to tell their clients that they have, as part of their organization, an Adoption Consultant who is available to their clients via the phone, email, and personally (on a quarterly basis) to answer questions and give them support and encouragement. This person is a transracial adoptee who has successfully gone through what you and your family are going to go through or are going through. Our consultant can give insight not many can give and we are not aware of anyone else who can provide such a needed and meaningful service.”
In that 30 seconds Mike had said so much that was so true and it was exactly what I am doing now. Everyday, I spend a large part of my day returning questions via email from adoptive parents and to do this on a regular basis would be a joy to me.
Mike and I ended the conversation agreeing to meet next week to further iron out how this could work. The moment I pushed “end” on my phone, my wheels started to spin so fast, I swear I smelled rubber burning. I started thinking about the training that I could provide on a quarterly basis. I thought about workshops with hairstylists and dermatologists, workshops on my experiences and what my parents did right and what they could have done better and the ideas just kept coming.
For a while, I forgot about the book that has been consuming my every waking moment. The book, which I thought would be the focal point, became a nice accessory.
This past week I have spent a lot of time thinking about the situation in Tennessee with the adopted Russian boy who was sent back to Russia and my heart has just been broken about it.
So many things failed him and one thing that failed him was the post-adoptive services his mother should have had access to. If only the mother would have reached out to someone who was familiar with attachment disorders this outcome could have been avoided.
There is such an amazing need for solid and worthwhile pre/post-adoptive services and I would be honored to be part of the solution.
I would love to hear from my adoptive parents about this. Would this be sometshing you would be interested in? What areas would you like more information on?
Good news, my memoirs, Growing Up Black in White, will be available via the website(growingupblackinwhite.com) May 22, 2010.