Several times I wrote this response in my head. Several times I was determined to address each one of John’s points with the precision of a surgeon and the power of an atomic blast. Often I would go to bed fantasizing about my rebuttal and how freeing it would be to respond in a way that would make me and my close friends and family feel better.
Then I reconsidered. John has some valid points and I feel his voice, as well as mine, is important to the adoption community. To sit at my computer and exchanged jabs back and forth would do no one any good. The temporary pleasure I would get out of it is not worth the fracturing of a community; a community that I feel needs to hear both voices.
I have learned a lot from this process and the growing pains that have come with it have been just that: painful. I have seen and been a part of the temptation to pit naïve, happy adoptees against bitter, angry adoptees and I will not contribute to that entertainment. Neither description is accurate or beneficial. We all have valuable experiences and powerful ways to express how we see and saw them and it is my belief we all want the same thing; to help parents and children who are going through what we did.
My evolution as an adoption professional continues and I am proud of the advances I have made in the year that I have been doing this. In the year, that has seemed like five, I am proud of the voice I have given to my experience, but I also am aware I am not done. To grow and change and become better and even more powerful is my goal. So I walk away from this experience thankful for what I have learned and am learning and better able to see there is so much more I need to do and say.
So I have put away my scalpel and my plastic explosives choosing to become bigger not smaller and I truly feel so many more will benefit from the different voices that are emerging in the adoption community. I am honored to be one of them and growing.