Recently, I read a statement put out by the National Association of Black Social Workers (NABSW) that called transracial adoption genocide and since then I have struggled with how I feel about that.
To be part of a system that some people refer to as genocide it painful. To come to the realization that part of community I feel a bond with doesn’t approve of how I was raised is hurtful. To come to the understanding that there may be some truth in what the NABSW says and in saying that I will hurt and offend some people is conflicting.
Because of the disparity in the child welfare system you have to question why so many children of color are in the child welfare system. 14-15% of all children in the United States are black. Black children represent 35-40% of all children in the child welfare system and that makes no sense. Why is there such a high representation of black children in the welfare system?
Is the answer that black parents are incapable of raising black children successfully?
I refuse to believe or entertain that thought.
Is it because the welfare system is more prone to pull black children out of black homes?
This theory, in my opinion, really needs to be looked into.
Is the welfare system culturally biased making it harder for black children to be returned to black homes?
I think we need to look in to this as well.
The numbers show black children are taken from black homes and not returned at a rate much higher than should be expected and because of this huge disproportionality transracial adoption has become more and more necessary.
So some simply see it as a system that is designed to remove black children from black homes and place them more and more in white homes hence supporting the idea of genocide.
Regardless of how we got to this point, I think there needs to be a two step process. We need people to work at correcting a horribly broken and unequal child welfare system.
At the same time we need to concentrate on where we are today. Because of the disproportionality that has been created we need to understand that among other initiatives transracial adoption has to be seen as a viable and necessary option by everyone and supported by EVERYONE.
As a transracial adoptee, the more I look in to comments like the one above, I get incensed. It is not the comment that upsets me because I understand where they are coming from and why they said what they did. My anger begins to simmer when I think about the assistance groups like the NABSW have given to adoptees like me. It is almost as if we were simply written off as a liability and a lost cause. Regardless of whether you support transracial adoption or not, to turn your back on the children that could use your support and assistance is worse than any comment that could be made. It is possible to support a competitive philosophy while supporting the kids who could benefit from your involvement in their lives. As I look back on things growing up and read more and more about groups who disagree with transracial adoption, the anger in me that was simmering is now brought to a boil. What happened to “what is in the best interest of the child?” It serves no one to criticize a way of living and then offer no help. To only offer your support to Black children who are adopted by Black families ignores the part of the population you so passionately say you are protecting. Black children who are part of transracial families are still black children; black children who need all kinds of support.
The black community can play an active role in helping and partnering with white parents to help grow black children that are proud black children and have a strong sense of who they are as black children. By helping the children retain their ties with the black community will prevent the genocide that is feared, while allowing black children to move out of foster care.
The other alternative is keep black children in foster care until the system is corrected; causing even more children to age-out of foster care. We all know the dim future that comes to the average child who ages out of foster care. No child should have to walk alone.
Kevin – As always, your blogs are fascinating, insightful, thought-provoking – and saddening. This blog saddens me particularly as to your observation that it is almost as if assistance groups like the NABSW have simply written off transracial adoptees as a liability and a lost cause. While perhaps strongest in that environment, this attitude is not unique to black views of white adoption of black children. My husband lost a dear friend 13 year ago when she learned we were contemplating transracial adoption from Cambodia – when we had hoped that she would be our child’s Godmother. Her perspective as a woman of mixed Asian/Pacific Islander descent was extremely negative, as she expressed her outrage and condemnation that we would be wrenching a child from her native culture (notwithstanding her likely tragic future there). Fortunately, we have found her attitude to be an aberration rather than the norm. Our adopted daughters (one Cambodian-born and one Vietnamese-born) and we have received tremendous love and support both from immigrant communities here and from people in the countries of their births, which is the very kind of assistance we and they need to help our girls maintain their ties to the communities of their births and heritages. – Kay
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Wow, Kevin you have really opened Pandora’s box. You know how I feel, I have no patients for any kind of prejudice. And you are so right in what you say. It is so hard to communicate to closed minded people. There is no right answer for everyone. I could give you my views on your topics but they are not written in stone. I see so many kids in foster care, being terminated on, or sent back only to be abused again…. Color holds no boundary, the only thing I have heard loud and clear is the ones that cry the loudest have no answer or solution, they just want to complain. I have seen black and white people become wonderful foster and adopted parents. I have also seen the other side from both. The last thing these kids need is to be left in the system. So my answer to everyone is be a part of the solution or shut up! Am I a perfect biracial adoptive parent? NOT by any means, I am not a perfect parent period, but everyone knows how much I love my kids! Especially them so if they come out of this biracial adoption screwed up, at least they know they were loved!!! And thats all everyone deserves!!!
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I had thought the NABSW had softened their remarks on the subject since coming out in opposition to transracial adoption in the 1970’s?
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This post inpired me to do a little research on the subject and this seems to be where the NABSW stands now:
In 1994, a more expansive document, Preserving African American families, reinforced the 1972 position statement by stressing the following:
(1) “stopping unnecessary out-of-home placements;
(2) reunification of children with parents;
(3) placing children of African ancestry with relatives or unrelated families of the same race and culture for
adoption;
(4) addressing the barriers that prevent or discourage persons of African ancestry from adopting;
(5) promoting culturally relevant agency practices; and,
(6) emphasizing that “transracial adoption of an African American child should only be considered after
documented evidence of unsuccessful same race placements has been reviewed and supported by
appropriate representatives of the African American community” (NABSW, 1994, p. 4).
In a CNN article ( http://articles.cnn.com/2010-05-06/living/transracial.adoption_1_transracial-adoptions-adoptive-parents-black-child/4?_s=PM:LIVING )
the groups position was explained this way:
” the National Association of Black Social Workers has long argued for keeping black children in black homes. About 40 years ago, the association released a four-page position paper on transracial adoption in which it went so far as to call such adoptions “genocide” — and that word choice has dogged the organization ever since.
Oliver, the vice-president-elect, says when that position was written decades ago, blacks were being discounted as adoptive parents, not being given the same resources to help keep families together and thereby prevent the need for child placements, and that agencies weren’t recruiting families within the community. By speaking strongly, the organization helped jolt the system — although more still needs to be done, she says.
The preference, Oliver says, remains that kids be placed in same-race households whenever possible. And if it isn’t possible, or if a birth parent selects an adoptive family of a different race, then those adopting must be educated to understand “the impact of race and racism on the country, their family and the child in particular,” she says.”
I think I can agree with MOST of what they are trying to do, that being said, it’s still obvious that being of any kind of assistance to the transracial adoptive community doesn’t even seem to be a “blip on their radar screen.” I can’t help but wonder if we’re barking up the wrong tree though… I would be curious what kind of reception the NAACP would give the transracial adoptive community… They could have a profound amount of influence and resources!
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Kevin, oh my, this is a sticky topic. Since many people who are here, looking for answers, bringing up negative statements, like this, makes us uncomfortable. In good turn we need to know what is being said and thought. I know what I believe. I believe it enough to step put of what is comfortable and into what is new. Racial profiling is not new. I believe it is what kept my children from getting help, they needed, early on. They did however receive that help from us, their adoptive parents, who saw them as whole beings. Not as part of one thing or the next. Their skin color is only part of who they are, it shows the most, and will always be with them. It is the first thing people see, and maybe what people will judge them by. We will not answer here and now what is culture or how much it means. If a Black person moves here from Africa they are not in their culture. I do not want my parenting to be judged by my skin, or by my religion, or by my education. Rather by my parenting skills. I want it judged by my love for my child, my ability to teach them what they need to know. Which is not easy, in that, we can not see the future. We do not know exactly what they will need. A blanket statement like this only seperates us, makes us weaker as a society trying to do the most loving and best we can. In a perfect world all children would stay in their families of birth. This National Adoption month points out to us in very clear and meaningful ways. This is not always the best thing for the child.
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Jacque,
I agree we do need know what is being said.
I assumed because my transracial adoption experience was good that all would see this a a great thing. I am learning that isn’t always true. But in learning what others say and think prepares me to have a broader discussion.
I also think this is a great opportunity to work with others, even if we don’t agree, to help children as much as we can.
Yes it is painful, but this knowledge will open the door for some needed and positive conversations.
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I have to add this, yesterday my daughter came home and asked me “what does trifling mean?” I laughed and said “acting like a spoiled brat, why?” She said “one of my friends told another friend to get her trifling a** outta here”. So when Melainie came over (black speech therapist) she asked her what it meant. She thought and said “basically acting ghetto, uneducated… like a girl leaving her dirty underwear laying out (I have all girls) or someone not voting and still complaining about everything, thats trifling. Why?” Keeyana said “Oh, that makes since now, because the girl came up and farted in her face” and told her what was said. Melanie said “oh my, they are cursing in school at that age too? Thats trifling!!” So I label these people as “TRIFLING”!!!
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great write up. dont agree with their strong language, but surely get their point.
i guess i wonder…what are they doing about it…what are they doing to change it…? without actions to reform their words are just words.
while everyone is the system gets their act together lets not keep kids from having a family.
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I don’t disagree with their statements intention and the issue of “disproportionality” is a huge problem that reaches beyond child welfare and points to many of the divisions in our country, I think. I heard a white mom of black children once say on a video that her’s was the third best family for her adopted children – that their bio family would have been the best family for them in an ideal world, that an African-American family would have been the 2nd best choice and in the absense of that family being available, then her family (Caucasian) is the third best choice. That is hard to accept, but I think it is true. Does it mean we should place kids based ONLY on race – no, but it does mean we need to work much harder to eliminate barriers that prevent/keep/stop/discourage families of color from adopting. And it acknowledges that CULTURE (not race) is a very important aspect of a person’s identity – including the culture of their biological origins. Tough stuff, but important to wrestle with. And I have not even brought up yet the role of money in all of this which is another related factor in all of this. I’d better stop! LOL – thanks again Kevin for keepin’ it real!
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Some of this I agree with, some I don’t. But I do wonder how placing children of African decent ito a home of a Cacuasian family could be considered “genocide”? Genocide is defined as “(n) genocide, race murder, racial extermination (systematic killing of a racial or cultural group)” , and it seem getting these children out of the foster care system and into a good, stable, loving home with people of ANY race would give them a better chance to LIVE. Admittidly, culture tends to go by the wayside since the culture in the home is likely different than the culture of their race. But this is something that can (and SHOULD) be adressed in the home.
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Yes, it’s a difficult subject but only because it’s the elephant in the room that we usually don’t want to talk about but are all familiar with the argument. As a trans-racial adoptive parent (my son is from Guatemala) I think this reminds me a lot of what is going on with UNICEF right now. They are running around trying to shut down international adoption programs all over the world for these same reasons. And, Kevin, my argument is the same as yours. Nobody can disagree with the ultimate goal of reducing the need for adoption, but you leave THESE children HERE AND NOW stranded by closing the doors to them! Is that humanitarian? HELL, NO! So, this is a moral dilemma I struggle with all the time in thinking about how the world views me and my child, and my future child who will probably have at least some African American heritage. There are some people who are too idealogical and will forget the reality of the individual child. I have to disregard their opinion because it is their choice to try to take care of “theoretical” children or children of the future or create the “perfect world”. It is MY choice to do something concrete right now in this flawed world we live in, where… yes, I’m so sorry that I happen to be the best option this child has so get over it because that doesn’t automatically make me a BAD option! I just wish they weren’t so narrow minded and tunnel visioned 😦
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It is a much healthier reaction to do what you are doing, Kevin…to reach out to the children who are in transracial homes and work to teach their parents what important steps to take to HELP those children grow healthy racial identities. Thank God everyone isn’t so angry and closed minded they miss the forest for the trees. *sigh*
Meri
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Kevin, the quote you mention about being the third best family is one that really bothered me when I first saw that video. Do you really think your family was third best? Would you choose a different family? I refuse to believe that I am the third best parent for my children. (Maybe second to my husband!)
That would be like saying the best child for me would have been biological, second would be if I could have adopted a white child, but since neither of those was possible, I guess I’ll have to take these black kids that were given to me after their mother’s CHOSE me to be their mom. I have no way to let anyone else know what I feel in my heart for these beautiful children. They are mine and I wouldn’t trade them for any other child – biological or white included. In fact, once we adopted our daughter, I was actually afraid of getting pregnant because I didn’t want a biological child any more.
I’m so grateful that I have yet to meet a transracial adoptee in person that regretted being raised by parents of a different race. I keep hearing about these experts, but fortunately, they seem to be the minority – although they yell the loudest. I have also been surrounded by a supportive community – black and white – who bless me and my children.
I was worried about moving to South Carolina for fear our family wouldn’t be accepted, but have found just the opposite.
On a side note – it would be interesting to look at the statistics of foster care, race and adoption to see how they correlate to fathers being in the home or leaving a mother behind. I think fathers leaving is a huge problem across the board.
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Kristin,
I didn’t use that quote, but I will respond to it.
To me that quote speaks globally. It states that overall it is better for children to remain with their biological families and if that isn’t available then same race families and then transracial adoption.
If you are asking if I agree with, I do. Does that mean transracial adoption is not a great and wonderful option? No. I do support transracial adoption.
Again, this, to me, addresses, overall what is best for the children and I think this is how it should be looked at but again whether that is done or not transracial adoption is a great option which needs to be used AND supported.
Also I have met a lot of transracial adult adoptees and what often gets assumed is that they regret being raised by white parents. All the transracial adoptees, with a few exceptions, have deep love and respect for their white parents but wish their parents would have done some things differently or where more aware of the role race played in their lives.
Fathers leaving the home is a huge problem as well, I will agree but I don’t think it justifies the disparity in the child welfare system.
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@ Kristin,
You sound like me! Spoken like a true mom!! Too many “what if’s” It’s what it is and we have made the best of it! I did not need to adopt, I had 3 bio-sons a step son and daughter. I adopted because I could not imagine after a year and a half of taking care of this petite, bundle of joy, letting her go to anyone else, black, white, red, green to raise her, and not be the one to revel in her accomplishments and growth!! Now that she is 12, I am so proud of both of us!!!! We have come a long way!!!
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Obviously race is important and can’t be ignored, but I bet most of us wish our parents had done something differently in the way they raised us. I’m overweight and have always been overweight. I wish my mother had spent more time teaching me to love myself as I am and less time trying to get me to lose weight. It’s taken me most of my adult life to learn to deal with that. Sometimes I think we let race take over everything else instead of letting it just be a part of the whole picture.
That being said, one great thing about our move to South Carolina is that I have been able to have several open conversations about race with new friends that I would not have been able to have in Utah. It has helped me greatly (and is part of why I am realizing that I shouldn’t over-focus on race).
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And in Houston, we are so culturally mixed, you see a black person and its very common that they are Hispanic descent, not African…. this statement coming from a Dr. whom I love and is black and thinks I’m over thinking all the race stuff. But if we were still in Kansas, like Detroit where the riots and busing were unreal in the 70’s racial profiling is horrible. And we get looks and stares when we go visit family there. But, I’m use to being “different” and I teach my girls, different is Ok, even good, even special!!!
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I really appreciate your perspective Kevin, as always. Really enjoyed your book and feel that I carry your story.
The statement by the American Association of Black Social Workers was published in 1972. Certainly a different time, one that you describe very vividly in your book. I am not exactly sure what their position is now or if they actually have a united one. At the time it was written as voice of fear for the future of the children in a violently racially divided era. The concerns are somewhat the same today but more addressed towards heavily including the culture of origin in the adoptive family culture by association with other minority individuals or groups.
My point, and I don’t even think I have a clear point, is that it is natural for you to continue to make sense of all the rheteric out there. Being such a nice and humble guy yourself I can understand that you could want to take a stance that would be the most healing.
Just knowing that you are putting yourself out there as a voice (as opposed to being silent) encourages the discussion, which is so pivotal to growth.
http://www.wix.com/beckettfranklingray/home
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