One thing I love about doing this blog is that every now and then someone will reach out to me for help. A few Saturdays ago a brave young man reached out to me and asked if I would help get his story out there. He is an adoptee who was searching for his biological father. He is also a film maker and shared that he decided to show up on his bio dad’s door with camera in hand.
When I read this I got instantly nervous for him! He shared the video with me and I was blown away. Not only is he brave he is very talented. Below is his story with the link to his video. Please share and spread around. This is a great story.
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Elijah Thomas
I met my birth father back in September.
I think I’ve always been curious about him, who he was, his side of the story, etc.However, from what I understood, he didn’t want any contact with me. But, I didn’t feel it was right for someone to have a child and just get to ignore that fact for the rest of their life. I think children of closed adoption often suffer in silence about these things. Our adoption is never totally “closed” in our hearts.
We grow up loving our adoptive parents and in the process this curiosity can eat at us and even make us feel guilty for wanting to understand the big picture. That’s not right at all. It’s extremely important for adoptive families to be encouraging and sensitive to this desire. We (adopted children) don’t want to hurt ANYONE. Families will ultimately grow closer as they communicate, and implement this level of trust.
After meeting John, (my birth-father), I feel more apart of my family (my adoptive family) than ever.I see the big picture, and it’s had a lasting effect on me. I feel like this is both an end and a new beginning for me. It marks the end of a lot of suffering, self doubt, depression, and anger. Now that my adoption is open, I can finally say that it’s “closed” once and for all in my heart.
I have thus begun to feel very lucky. Life feels new and different now that I no longer feel like some mistake that was made 24 years ago.
Me and John haven’t spoken much at all since. But there are no hard feelings. We wish each other the best. He was very kind in allowing us to film and interview him.
My Mind on Paper 
Kevin – Thank you for sharing Elijah’s story. My adopted son is 13 and struggles with the same anger and identity issues that Elijah describes. He vascillates on whether he wants to track down his biological parents in Korea someday or not. I hope decides to do it, as I do believe it would offer some closure for something that is extremely painful to him. But it will be up to him. He feels so alone at times, and I can’t wait to show him Elijah’s video. I think it will help him. I would have probably have never seen it if you had not posted about it. So thank you!!!
Blaine
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That;s great to hear. I hope it will help your son understand his feelings are very justified and common.
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