You carried me reverse piggy back
for 180 days
when you could have had me bagged
and thrown away
you were my human incubator
enduring the pain and unfashionable look
for an unrecognizable piece of life
you didn’t know
you were caught with your senses down
and your emotions up
i was the result
i hold nothing against you, mom
and i try to imagine
the anguish that accompanied you
as your heart grasped the pen
the pen that helped you sign
the adoption papers
the same ball point that guaranteed me
a better life than
you thought you could give
Oh lord you have me cryin’ now! Almost 18 years ago I was caught with my senses down and my emotions up. The pain that accompanied me on the day that I signed that adoption paperwork still haunts me. Today, when I rock my infant adopted son to sleep I think about how much his firstmom loved him and the pain that must have accompanied her when she signed those papers giving him a better life.
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Absolutely Beautiful!
I found you through your post on the “White Mommies of Black Babies” group on FB. I was also a poetry editor for a few years. Love your work! I look forward to reading more of your writings.
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Beautiful poem. Thank you!
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