Sitting still in church has always been a struggle for me. Remembering back to the days when Dad would preach, I recall fighting off sleep or wrestling with unused energy. The hard wooden pew on my small bottom didn’t make the bout any easier.
One Sunday, I took the cards that were in the back of the pew in front of me and I drew pictures on them. These were the cards reserved for guest. A guest would come to church and fill out the cards so the church could follow up with them. Since there were no guests in my row, I used the cards to draw stick figures karate fighting. The president of the church board found me after church and yelled at me for wasting the churches money. It was a small sacrifice for getting through church without falling asleep or wiggling too much. Both of these actions would draw the attention from Mom which meant the afternoon would not be a pleasant one.
Today, I struggle to sit still in church but for a different reason. There is something peaceful and inspiring when I step in the church. The whole time I am there, ideas are lobbed at my head. Blog ideas, a creative way to describe something, or a different way to say an every day thought. My head is bombarded with creativity in HD.
During the week, while trying to think of what to write about I wish I could go back to church where the ideas are floating in the air. In church, thoughts, and inspiring writings are like huge grapefruits hanging from the lowest branch. If I reach out, I can pick them one after another. Unfortunately, the ideas are like manna. If they are not digested in church, that day, they spoil. In the parking lot after church I try to recall them but they are gone forever.
Writing them down, preserves them. The guilt of not paying attention and getting what I really need to get out of church prevents me from jotting down note after note. Instead, I sit still and pray that God will inspire me again throughout the week. I negotiate with God in church that if I listen in church he will save some of these nuggets for later in the week. I agree and God doesn’t answer.
When I sit to write a blog, I have never had a complete thought. God loans me an idea and we start. Slowly the page fills and the direction I thought we were going in is no where close to were we ended. The idea that something is created from absolutely nothing inspires me to sit down at the keyboard again and again. During the week, God sits down at the keyboard with me and we spin the nuggets I begged for in church.